Inter-Tribal Marriages

Hello everyone and we pray your week has been off to an amazing start. we are excited today to bring you this message as we know that quite some singles, and even their parents need the wisdom contained therein, as more and more people are falling in love with those outside of their ‘natural tribe’.

This message will bless you so much so enjoy…


Division is one of the strategies of the devil. The devil loves division because, he knows unity, especially unity in the things of God has a way of threatening the kingdom of darkness. When people come together on a particular thing and they are of one purpose and of one mind, nothing shall be impossible for them.

Genesis 11:1-8 “Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. As people moved eastward,[a] they found a plain in Shinar and settled there. They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar.  Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.” But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building.  The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. “

Unity is one of the major strengths of God and division is one of the weapons the devil uses. The problem with division is not just necessarily about tribe, it is just a tool the devil uses to cause strife and dis unity. In the world, we differentiate ourselves with different things. We differentiate ourselves on the basis of color, ethnicity, clan, family. There is always something to differentiate ourselves by. As Christians, we need to be aware of these differences and consciously deal with it.

Deuteronomy 7:1-4 “When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations—the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites, seven nations larger and stronger than you— and when the Lord your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally.Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy. Do not inter marry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.”

The major reason God asked the people of Israel not to inter marry was because of worship. He knew that inter-marriage was going to lead their hearts away from the worship of God and steer it towards the worship of other gods and it will eventually destroy them. The issue here wasn’t tribe or ethnicity, it was worship. What this tells us as New Testament believers is that there are only two tribes now in the eyes of God. The tribe of God and the tribe of the devil. And God admonishes us not to inter marry.

Deuteronomy 7:6 “For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.”

1 Pet 2:9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

1 Cor 12:13 “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.”

What this scripture is saying is that we are no longer divided by language, country, color, by ethnicity/tribe, or by gender; we are now divided on the basis of salvation. Either you are saved or not saved. Either you believe in Jesus or you don’t. That is, it is either you are a believer or an unbeliever. So, it doesn’t matter the tribe you come from physically, it doesn’t matter the language you speak, we are all one in Christ. And God still told us the same thing he told them in the old testament.

2cor 6:14 -17 “Do not be unequally yoked with an unbelievers Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[b]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them,and I will be their God and they will be my people.”Therefore,Come out from them  and be separate,says the Lord, Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”

Some parents will say don’t marry Yoruba, Igbo, or Hausa forgetting that there are people who married from the same tribe ( i.e both man and woman are from the same tribe) and the marriage didn’t work out. That you marry from your tribe doesn’t guarantee a happy home.  It is not a person’s tribe that makes him behave well, there are thieves from every tribe, there are liars from every tribe, there are rude people from every tribe, there are witches from every tribe, there are ritual killers from every tribe and there are also people that haven’t committed any of these offenses from every tribe.

If you are a believer and you are still ruled by tribal differences then you don’t know what it means to be a born again child of God. There are Christians that won’t attend a church because the Pastor is not from their tribe. That is wrong, because in heaven, your tribe will not count. When you are carnally minded, you are so conscious of your natural source but when you are spiritually minded, you are conscious of your spiritual origin.

John 3:3 “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”

What this scripture is saying is, now you belong to another kingdom. You take your identity and way of thinking from that kingdom. It is okay to marry from any tribe as long as the person is Christian and his beliefs and values are rooted in the word. If (s)he is still living his life based on culture and traditions from his/her tribe then that means that (s)he is still a baby christian and needs to grow more in the things of God. Culture and tribe truly affects people’s behavior but it shouldn’t be a problem if the person is a mature believer. THERE IS A CULTURE OF SCRIPTURE. Once a believer begins to imbibe this culture and live his life based on it, tribal differences and influences should not matter. So as a person planning to go into a relationship with the intention of getting married; what you should look out for isn’t the tribe but how much of the word of God the person has on his inside and how much expression (s)he is giving to it. If he still runs his life based on traditional beliefs such as “I must get you pregnant before we get married”, “someone died in my family so we have to wear black”, “someone died in my family we have to cut our hair” then do not marry him. A lot of the origins of these traditional beliefs are satanic and once you start negotiating with the devil and going out of the word, you are setting up yourself because the devil is older and smarter than you are. Your only wisdom over the devil is in the word of God, once you step out of God’s word and start talking with the devil in natural terms he will beat you to it thoroughly. Jesus, when he was tempted overcame the devil with the word and nothing else. He kept on proclaiming the word “it is written” because He knew once he steps out of the word, the devil will come for him. There are some things, some practices, some cultural and traditional beliefs that look non-threatening but have consequences. And the moment you obey one of these traditional beliefs you ultimately will have to obey all, whether consciously or not.  Some of these beliefs at times are handed down from countries and in the name of keeping up with civilization, we begin to adopt those cultural beliefs as a way of life. Every belief must be weighed with the word of God; any belief that has you disobeying God or is conflicting with the word of God is a NO. At times, these beliefs can be subtle and do not look harmful and that’s why as a Christian you cannot afford to be gullible. You need to be very sensitive. Not every popular culture should be followed.

In the West, prayer is being banned in schools. To the ordinary man, this rule is just a way of being accommodating of several belief systems, but to the spiritual man, you understand that gradually the worship of God is being dethroned and the consciousness of God is being reduced. And it doesn’t stop there now, disciplining your child is something that is frowned against in the West and now more Christians are adopting this in the name of being ‘civilized’/ ‘progressive’. If you are sensitive you will realize that the devil works in several ways, because he is very crafty he will not come in a way that is glaringly evil, he seeps in little by little. There are several scriptures in the bible that recommends flogging a child.

Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”


Proverbs 23:13 “Withhold not correction from the child: for if you beat him with a rod, he shall not die.”


Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”


Proverbs 13:24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”


This is not to encourage parents to brutalize their children but to understand that disciplining a child is necessary so that (s)he can turn out right. Flogging a child is scripturally recommended, the devil knows this but he has to appeal to your mind so he starts suggesting thoughts like “if you flog your kids they will be violent.” You cannot be wiser than God, once you challenge one scripture in the word, you will challenge another word. If one word of God is not valid then the whole scripture becomes invalid. And so if it starts with banning prayers from schools and then gradually it moves to not flogging children and then same sex marriage is instituted; then any other thing will soon follow. Stepping out if the word is not an instant thing, it is gradual. We need to understand that anything against the scripture no matter how nice it sounds is wrong. No matter how popular it is, don’t emulate. If it is contrary to God’s do not do it.

So, if you want to marry someone irrespective of the tribe, check for the following

  1. When he wants to make a decision, does he consult the word or is he ruled by popular culture and beliefs. Is the word the final authority in his life?
  2. Be sure that their mind set is correct. For instance, if you are marrying someone from the west, ask what (s)he thinks about divorce. What does (s)he think about tithing, serving in church, marrying more than one person. It is important you get his mind set on these issues before proceeding to getting married.
  3. Even though a man cannot and shouldn’t live his life based on traditional beliefs, if you want to marry someone, you need to give allowance for some things. Not everything traditional or cultural is wrong.

Romans 13:7 “Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honor.”

For instance, you meet a traditional ruler, you greet them the way the tradition and custom demands so far it’s not over ruling or against anything in the word. If you are marrying a Yoruba person for instance, that means you have to learn to greet, as the culture is one that demands respect and greeting is a way of showing respect. If you are not ready to do this then do not marry. The igbos have a culture where boldness is encouraged, people from this culture are encouraged to air their minds. If this igbo person is going to marry into another culture where airing your mind is seen as disrespectful, you will need to make adjustments Marriage comes with the need to adjust. You can’t be selfish.

Ruth 1:16 “…..thy people shall be my people”


Wow what absolute truths did we just get the privilege of learning. Amazing!!! Please feel free to share so that we all grow together…

We would also love for you to fellowship with us at DAVID’S CHRISTIAN CENTRE

Our service times are

Mainland (Fatgbems Filling station bus stop, Amuwo Odofin, Lagos)

Sundays 7.30 and 9am

Wednesdays 6.30pm

Island (Elegushi Bus stop, 3rd round about, lekki)

Sundays 10 am

Tuesdays 6.30pm

You can find us on social media too

Instagram and Twitter @dccisland, @dcclagos

You can call us too on 08077714411

We cannot wait to hear from you…

Till next time, please say this COVENANT we have out loud with us,



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LDM with PK | Love Dating and Marriage | Online Store For Pastor Kingsley and Mildred Okonkwo Messages, Books, CDs, DVDs, Ebooks and other Resources

Online Store For Pastor Kingsley and Mildred Okonkwo Messages, Books, CDs, DVDs, Ebooks and other Resources